第八章 如何判斷對方是否喜歡你／64
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這章寫得太好了~

因為戀愛中的人經常會擔心對方是不是真心喜歡自己。

小妹把這章貼出來~呵呵~

CHAPTER 8.
How to Know if the Attraction is Mutual
QUIZ 1. See if you can tell when a person loves you, doesn’t
love you, or is fooling you!
Listed below are 15 lines, on which you will write
either Yes, No, or Trick . Assume you are a man. In six of
these situations the woman absolutely positively 100% surely
has strong feelings for you. In five of these situations there’s
a 100% chance the woman has absolutely no romantic
feelings for you at all, and you should give up immediately.
In four of these situations the woman is just being friendly
or accommodating, or she may be for her own ego with no
romantic intentions. Read each situation. Write “Yes” on the
line if you think the woman likes you. Write “No” on the line
if you think the woman has no romantic feelings for you.
Write “Trick” if you think the woman is flirting with you, but
not necessarily will go out with you.
1. ______ The person sends you gifts (cards don’t count).

2. ______ The person smiles at you often.
3. ______ The person doesn’t call you back.
4. ______ The person accepts your phone calls and talks to you for a long time.
5. ______ The person always accepts your gifts or
invitations.
6. ______ The person calls just to say “hi.”
7. ______ The person often touches your shoulder, holds
your hand, etc.
8. ______ The person walks in step with you and mimics
your body language.
9. ______ The person doesn’t walk in step with you.
10. ______ The person gives you frequent compliments.
11. ______ The person spontaneously laughs at all your
weak jokes as if all your jokes are funny, even though
you don’t think your jokes are so funny..
12. ______ You propose a fun outing and the person replies,
“Well, give me a call.”
13. ______ During a phone call, the person says, “Thank you
for calling” at the end of the call.
14. ______ The person doesn’t contact you when it’s your
birthday, Christmas, or Valentine’s Day.
15. ______ The person always invites you.

Example 1: A SITUATION YOU SHOULD AVOID
Conrad was a mechanical engineering student who
fell in love with Ramona. He made a lot of eye contact with
her, and every time he saw her, he smiled and she smiled
back radiantly. Occasionally, she made comments like “Oh.
You changed your hairstyle. I like your new look.” Conrad
took the hint and began to call her. They had no problems
finding things to say. The conversations were free-flowing
and often lasted about an hour. At the end of each
conversation, Ramona would say, “Thanks for calling.” In
the end, Conrad was a fool. Ramona never really liked him;
he took all the wrong hints. Somewhat embittered, Conrad
later claimed, “She led me on.”
Why do girls do this? From the guys point of view,
girls sit back and count how many people ask them to dance,
just to stoke their egos. Then, they let men make fools of
themselves. They lead us on, pat themselves on the back, and
then pull the rug out from under our feet. Isn't it less cruel to
just tell a guy straight that you don't like him, than to let him
spend a fortune on flowers only to make himself took like a
fool?
The women's point of view is different. I once asked
a female friend why women act so nice to men whom they
are not even interested in. Her answer was that women find it
very difficult to be mean. She said, “Women are raised to be
accommodating. They want to be nice all the time. They
want to say nice things. They don't want to dash the man's
hopes. They don't want to be cruel.” So women never say
anything mean, and the end result is that the man tries and
tries and tries and spends and spends and spends until he
finally expends himself, without the woman ever having to
mouth a cruel word.
What were Conrad's mistakes?
a. Conrad didn't wait for Ramona to say, “Oh, we should.
why Don't we. we ought to.” Instead, he mistakenly took her
compliments as a hint, and began to call her. He didn’t know
that in romance, the woman always makes the first
suggestion. He shouldn’t have called until after her
suggestion.

b. When Conrad called, he thought the conversations went
well. He mistakenly believed that Ramona liked him because
they had very long phone calls. In reality, Ramona was
entertained by the phone calls, and was just being polite and
accommodating.
First and foremost, the thing to remember is that a
girl won't like you consistently. Your influence level with her
is always changing, and it's a good idea to keep a close eye
on it so that you know when to be romantic, and when not a
pressure her (she’ll think you are manipulative and sneaky if
you pressure her). People are people, so even if you are
romantically interested in someone, you should just treat her
normally, like you would any other person. If, however, she
hints that she is romantically interested in you as well, then
you should “strike while the iron is hot,” and make every
effort to win her heart.
How can you know when someone is interested in
more than friendship? This is where men get into trouble.
Men are so optimistic that if a pretty girl only says, “Hi,”
they think to themselves. “A ha! I knew it! She likes me!”
Optimistic men view any attention as a sign that someone
likes them. This is very sad, because it leads to heartbreak.
These are the most common traps. Don’t believe
them!
a. The woman makes frequent eye contact or flirtatious
glances.
b. She smiles at you often.
c. She compliments you whenever she sees you.
d. She accepts your phone calls or talks to you a long time.
As you can see, all of the above can easily be
mistaken for romantic signals, but taken alone, they are not.
Everyone likes to flirt, and it makes a person happy when
others consider him/her attractive. Such a happy person may
smile, look you in the eye, or talk to you in person or on the
phone, but the actions listed above are actions that any nice
person might do for a friend or acquaintance. These signals
mean nothing more than friendship. They shouldn’t be
mistaken for romantic intentions. That would be wishful
thinking!
Sometimes the person you are interested in will want
give you a definite “back off” signal. But more often than
not, they won’t communicate clearly because they don’t want
to sound blunt, or cruel. For example, they might like you as
a friend, so they wouldn’t want to hurt your feelings, even if
they don’t want you as a romantic partner. So instead, they
will give you a “stay away” hint.
Let's review how the situation should happen. The
romance game-- who does what? Through work, school,
social life, someone’s introduction, or by accident, let’s say
you meet an interesting person, somebody you find
attractive- a possible romantic partner. You are just
acquaintances or possibly friends, and you’re wondering
whether the attraction might be mutual, whether she might be
interested in you as well. What should you do now?
The short answer is, you should talk. Don’t talk about
anything serious such as math, science, your philosophy, or
personal opinions. Flirting is in no way related to debate.
You don’t need to talk for a long time, either. A simple “Hi”

and a “Bye” is all that’s necessary, and maybe one sentence
in between about the weather, gossip, or whatever the
situation happens to be at the time. Then leave.
The very best thing that could happen to you is if she
becomes curious about you, and you get an opportunity to
see her again, and make small talk and leave again. Why is it
best to leave? Why shouldn’t you say much? Because it
keeps her curious. The less you say, the more curious she
becomes. Then, when the time comes (about 3 visits later)
for you to have a longer conversation with her, you don’t
have to worry about what you will say to her. Instead, she’ll
be so curious that she does all the talking, and you won’t
have to worry about not knowing what to say.
During these extremely brief conversations you have
with her, pay careful attention to eye contact and smiles. If
she seems interested in you, and stares directly into your
eyes, smiles a lot, and even offers compliments (“that’s a
nice tie”), then she may want nothing more than friendship.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking that she likes you. In order
to find out whether she really likes you or not, it will be
necessary to have an even longer conversation and pay
attention to certain hints.
When you finally stop to talk to her for a good length
of time (about 20 minutes), one of the best things you can do
is to walk, talk, and try to be entertaining. If, while you’re
walking, you notice she walks in step with you, that’s a very
good sign! Conversely, if she doesn’t walk in step with you,
she’s not interested. Give up. Another good sign is if she
laughs heartily at all your jokes (polite chuckles don’t count)
even when you don’t think your jokes are so funny.
Conversely, if she isn’t entertained when you try to be
entertaining, or if she seems half-hearted or laughing only
out of politeness, she’s not interested in you romantically.
After a walk it might be nice to stop for a coffee or a
snack. When you are both seated, pay careful attention to her
body language.
Perform the following experiment:
As you talk, lean forward, place your left elbow on
the table, and put your left hand on your chin. Maintain eye
contact, but in the corner of your eye observe her discreetly,
to see if she mimics your action. If she also places an elbow
on the table, and touches her face with her hand, that’s a sign
that she likes you. Then as you continue to converse, lean
backwards and discreetly cross one leg or bring it up so that
one leg rests on another. See if she subconsciously mimics
the motion by crossing her own legs or re-aligning them. If
the woman you are interested in follows your lead and
subconsciously mimics all your body language, then there’s a
very good chance that she likes you. Now glance down and
up quickly and try to spot a gold band on the ring finger of
her left hand. The experiment is over.
Even after you know for sure that a woman has
romantic interest in you, there are still good reasons why she
may never go out on a date with you. The two most common
reasons are prior commitment and pride. A woman who is
already committed to a husband or a boyfriend may signal
that she’s attracted to you a thousand times in a thousand
different ways. But if she’s truly committed to her husband
or boyfriend, and their relationship is healthy, she still won’t
go out with you. She’s a person of good character, a classy
lady, and her husband or boyfriend should count himself
lucky to have so loyal a partner.
Pride is another factor. Some women are extremely
conscious of how other women view them. Even though they
think you are nice and even attractive, they wouldn’t want to
be seen with you because they don’t want other women to
see them with someone who isn’t tall, famous, or handsome.
In their opinion, it would make them look less classy. Don’t
be discouraged if you come across someone who is too
committed or too proud to accept you as a suitor; sometimes
they still might accept you as a platonic friend.
If you’re lucky you may just encounter an
uncommitted someone who doesn’t care what others think.
Someone who gives you all the right hints.